Dark secrets
by NancyMay
Summary: One or two have suggested a story to show why Blake is claustrophobic. I've tried in this one, and am thinking of a short follow up to show how he and Jean resolve it.
1. Chapter 1

**Dark Secrets**

Chapter 1 - Changes

Since the horrific storms and her admission of an uncontrollable fear of thunder and lightning, Jean and Lucien had grown even closer. At home, even in front of Charlie, they were more open about their love; hands touching when they passed around the house, sitting closer together on the couch and snatched kisses as Lucien left on a police case or home visit to a patient. The one thing they worried about; more Jean than Lucien; was Charlie seeing Jean leaving Lucien's room if she had spent the night there. To start with, they had shared the bed when one or the other was feeling a bit low, and they both agreed that Charlie shouldn't be put in the position of having to deny or confirm certain domestic arrangements. As it was, there was enough talk in town about them, which actually pushed them closer rather than driving them apart. Charlie, as it happened did know and didn't see it as any of his business, they were mature adults, not his brothers who he had to keep a moral eye on. _And_ he wasn't disturbed by Lucien's nightmares as much. What he couldn't understand was why the women of Ballarat should bad mouth the Doctor's receptionist; after all she had access to patient records and probably knew far more about them than they would like. Premature births...ahem!

Since Mattie had left for London there was no district nurse. No-one had been appointed to fill her place, so Lucien had now taken on the role of checking immunisations records and children's health checks. In fact he had shown Jean how to check the records and she arranged the health check appointments and immunisation clinics. She also updated the records, which is how the truth about Lucien's claustrophobia came out.

A farming family about an hour out of Ballarat had recently been blessed with a baby boy. Jean was doing the weekly record checks and noticed that this mother hadn't attended clinic since the boy had been born. Looking back through the file she found birth notes for two girls, but no other records. She found this odd, Mattie was usually so thorough and Lucien, for all his haphazard ways with receipts, was usually on top of records, even if he actually asked Jean to check the paperwork.

When he came home that evening, after his now customary greeting, a kiss and hug for Jean, she showed him what she had found.

'Oh dear,' he mused, 'That's not good. I'll pop over tomorrow if I can. Do you want to come too?' he was hopeful she would say yes, he didn't like confronting those who had no regard for his profession.

'Sorry, Lucien, I'd love to but I promised Alice I'd show her how to do a one-pot-roast, as it's her free day. I can cancel of you think it's necessary.' she smiled sweetly. She quite enjoyed the odd times she and Alice met up: they had developed a friendship since the time Mei Lin was there. Apart from the Sewing Circle she had few female friends she could confide in and Lucien knew that these days that was important to her.

'No, you have your 'Girlie Time', I know Alice is the one woman you can spend time with, without fear of rumours being passed around town.'

So he knew about the tittle-tattle; good. Jean found that talking to Alice reduced the chance of her having a meltdown if it all got on top of her. She had to admit she found it difficult sometimes, the sharing of the bed had become more than comfort for low times and they had been 'intimate' on more than one occasion. they knew they had to be so careful; Jean knew it was still possible for her to conceive so precautions had to be taken- this was down to Lucien - nipping into a chemist when he went to Melbourne or Bendigo, anywhere but Ballarat! And preferably not the same place twice. Lucien would do anything for Jean. This was against her Catholic principles, but then again she was planning to marry a divorcee, also against the Church's teachings. Life could be so complicated sometimes. Having Lucien's child was not the problem, but the scandal...


	2. Chapter 2 Denial

Chapter 2 Denial

The following day Lucien had a call to attend a possible suspicious death, so he told Jean he wasn't sure he could get out to the family they had discussed the previous day.

The death turned out to be a hit and run. Lucien did the autopsy and sent his report to Frank Carlyle. There was little else he could do at the time so he resolved to go to the farm. He expected to be home in time for dinner.

An hour or so later, he pulled up in front of a rundown farm house. He got out of the car, grabbed his bag and headed for the back door.

'Hello,' he called, Mrs Riley, Mr Riley, it's Doctor Blake!'

He pushed open the door and stepped inside the kitchen; an untidy room, but essentially clean with evidence of a baby about. Nappies soaking in a bucket for one thing. A woman came bustling into the kitchen, cradling a sleeping infant.

'Doctor,' she gasped, 'I wasn't expecting you!'

'I noticed you hadn't attended clinic to have your baby weighed and checked,' Lucien smiled. The baby initially appeared healthy and well fed.

'I'm sorry, Doctor, it's a busy time, she answered, but there was something about her demeanour that worried him.

'Well let's have a look at the little chap,' and Lucien held out his arms for the child.

Using his travelling spring balance he weighed the baby and did the usual checks. All seemed fine, he had gained weight and his limbs flexed appropriately. His chest was clear and his eyes bright.

Mrs Riley watched the doctor closely and when he had finished and pronounced the baby a fine specimen, she opened the door to let him out.

'While I'm here,' Lucien said, 'how about I take a look at those lovely girls of yours, Alison and May, isn't it?'

Mrs Riley gave him a surprised look, 'No girls here, Doctor, I've only got the boy!', but she lowered her eyes and looked anywhere but directly at him.

'Come now, Mrs Riley, I have the birth records of two girls born to you four and six years ago!' he entreated,' I just want to check they're in good health.'

In the ensuing silence0 Lucien thought. or thought he heard, a scuttling down below in the cellar.

'Must be a mistake, doctor,' she started to try and find a reason for the records of two girls, when her husband burst through the door.

'Doris, who...' he spotted Blake, 'Dr Blake, what do you want he growled.

'Just checking on your son, Mr Riley. A fine young chap you have there,' Lucien smiled, 'But I was wondering if I could also check Alison and May.'

'Who!?' Riley stared at him.

'Your daughters,' Lucien replied, innocently.

'I have no daughters!' Mr Riley shouted and pushed Lucien out of the door, slamming it behind him.

Lucien threw his bag in the car, but instead of getting in and driving off his curiosity got the better of him, no surprise there!`

There was a cellar cover just around from the back of the house. He tried to lift it but it was secured by a heavy metal peg. Looking round he found a stone big enough and bashed the peg out of the handles. Pulling open the cover he took a deep breath and called down, 'Alison, May is that you down there?'

Two pairs of sparkling blue eyes stared up at him and then...


	3. Chapter 3 Underground

Chapter 3 Underground

He woke minutes later in the dark. Total, enveloping dark! Lucien moved but his head hurt. 'Oh God! No!' Not that, not dark, not underground! He couldn't help it, he screamed, loud and long. Silence.

Two voices, low and as scared as he was whispered;

'What do we do?'

'Dunno.'

Who is he?'

Dunno... but I think he's kind.'

'Why?'

He said our names.'

'OK.'

Then silence.

'D'ye think someone will come?'

'Maybe.'

'Alison, May, is that you?' Lucien's voice was small like a child's.

'Yes, sir.'

'My names Lucien, where are we?'

'In the cellar, it's where we live.'

'But it's so dark.'

'You get used to it.'

for children so young they sounded so grown up, so matter of fact. Lord, he needed Jean!

Time passed, he didn't know how long, the girls cuddled up to him, he supposed they didn't usually get this close comfort, and to be honest it made him feel better. They said 'Goodnight' and he noticed the change in their breathing to the shallow type associated with sleep. Like Jean when she was curled up next to him in Ballarat.

Meanwhile, back in Ballarat, Jean was surprised Lucien had not returned or called to say he would be late. She began to worry.

Rather than ringing the station she called Alice. Alice had left after helping Jean to prepare theroast and was planning on returning later to eat with Jean, Lucien and Charlie.

'Alice, I'm worried,' Jean said down the phone, 'have you heard from Lucien?'

'No, why?'

'He went to deal with a suspicious death and I haven' t heard from hm. He usually calls to say if he's going to be late or not going to make dinner at all,' Jean was embarrassed to show how much he meant to her, even to Alice.

'I'll check with the Superintendent.'

Moments later she called back.

'He left just after mid-day.' she informed Jean, 'Did he have any appointments?'

Not really, he wanted to check on a new mother out of town and her two daughters who we are missing the records on, but he said it was unlikely he would be able to get there today.'

'Where?'

jean gave Alice the address, adding, 'I'm coming to!'

'No, you stay there in case he comes back, I'll let the Mr Carlyle know and get him to send someone.'

Jean hesitated, ready to argue, but she knew Alice was right.

While Jean paced the kitchen, living room, study , all over the house as if hoping to find him somewhere, Frank, Bill Hobart and Charlie headed out to the Riley's farm leaving Ned in charge of phones.


	4. Chapter 4 Here comes the cavalry!

Chapter 4 Here comes the Cavalry!

Frank drove while Bill directed him along the Bendigo road, so fast they nearly missed the turning onto a dirt track that led to the farm. The three officers leapt out of the car and headed to the back door. Charlie skidded to a halt, in the light cast from a window he had spotted something on the ground. Taking out his torch he scanned the earth-tyre tracks- but where was the car? The tracks were not those of a farm vehicle.

Bill knocked on the door, no answer. He tried the handle but it was locked. Not the most subtle of coppers, Bill kicked the door in while Charlie followed the tracks round the back of a tumbledown barn. Underneath a tarpaulin he found Lucien's Holden, keys in the ignition.

'Boss! Boss!' Frank went running over.

'He's here somewhere, Boss,' Charlie insisted.

'But where!'

'Where's Dr Blake?', Bill was heard shouting, 'What've you done with him?'

It was obvious Bill wasn't getting the right answers as his language became more colourful.

Frank and Charlie raced back to the house and began patrolling, looking for evidence of Lucien's whereabouts.

Down in the cellar the girls had been woken by the noise outside.

'Quick!' urged the Doctor, 'we need something to bang on the hatch with and we must shout as loud as we can!'

With the prospect of rescue, Lucien managed to hold his nerve; the girls found wood and the three of them banged and bashed and shouted and screamed, 'Help! In Here!'

'Frank! Charlie!' Blake bellowed over and over again. Outside Frank put his hand on Charlie's arm, 'Listen.' They stopped and looked in the direction of the sound.

'There,' Frank pointed in the direction of the hatch. In the moonlight it could be seem moving with the beating of the wood from below. They rushed over and Frank kicked the peg out. The hatch flew open and two skinny girls followed by a dusty Lucien Blake scrambled out into the cool night air .Frank caught the girls, Charlie grabbed the doctor and looked at the relieved expression on his face.

'You ok, doc?' he enquired.

'Just about, how did you find me?'

'Jean', Lucien raised his eyebrows at this.

'Jean?' he queried.

'Yeah, she was worried when you were so late and asked Dr Harvey to find out what was happening,' Charlie continued 'Alice said she sounded, well almost panicky.'

At that moment Lucien just wanted to be with her, but his professionalism took over, which hid his remaining terror.

'We need to get the girls to the hospital and there's a baby in the house. I don't think it's safe to leave it with them.'

Just them Bill came out of the house, escorting Mr Riley in cuffs and followed by Mrs Riley carrying the baby. He pushed them into the police car.

'Where's my car?', asked Lucien

'I'll get it.' Charlie ran round the back of the barn and drove the Holden to him. As he started to get out of the driver's seat Lucien motioned him to stay; he really wasn't up to driving. He put the girls into the back and climbed into the passenger seat. Charlie drove them to the hospital.

In the police car Frank radioed the station and asked Ned to let Mrs Beazley know that the Doctor was ok and they were going to the hospital.

'Back at the house, Alice had stayed with Jean, Alice was concerned about Jean, it was obvious she was desperately worried about Lucien as she paced around the kitchen. She considered sedating her, but thought that was a bit strong so settled for making her drink a good measure of Lucien's whisky! Alice took the call from Ned and passed the news onto Jean, who grabbed her coat. Alice drove her to the hospital.


	5. Chapter 5 Together again

Chapter 5 Together Again

At the hospital the girls were checked and then transferred to the Children's Ward and put to bed with milk and toast. The baby was settled in the Nursery Ward. Lucien told the girls they would be ok and he would see them in the morning. He walked out of the ward and looked down towards the exit. At that moment Jean came around the corner. Not caring who was there, with tears streaming down her face and a scream of 'Lucien!' she flew into is arms.

'Oh god, Lucien I thought I'd lost you!'

He bent down to her and, in front of everyone, kissed her full on the mouth; a kiss she returned.

'Take me home, Jean, I'm so tired.' She looked into his defeated face and smiled. Taking his hand they walked down the corridor, passing Charlie, who gave her the car keys, and she took him home.

As soon as they entered the house Lucien turned on all the lights. Blinking in the brightness they went into the lounge where Lucien flopped on the couch. On the way home he hadn't said a word and Jean sensed that it was not the time to question him. She poured him a whiskey and turned to find him sitting with his head in his hands. She sat next to him, handed him the drink and gently rubbed his shoulders. He gulped down the whisky and coughed as it hit the back of his throat. Jean took the glass off him and he lurched against her, his head falling onto his breast. She felt his silent tears soak through her blouse. A storm was coming and she knew she couldn't leave him tonight of all nights.

She stood up and pulled him to his feet, helping him to is bedroom. she sat him on the edge of the bed and helped him to undress, stopping at his underwear. Even though they had made love over the past few weeks she still couldn't bring herself to undress him completely. She gave him his pyjamas and went quickly upstairs to change and clean her teeth. Finishing what she had to do, she quickly tripped back down the stairs taking Lucien's toothbrush, loaded with toothpaste, and a glass of water.

In the bedroom Lucien had changed into his pyjamas but was still sitting on the edge of the bed. She gave him the toothbrush and the glass and, while he cleaned his teeth, she moved the laundry out of the way. He looked up at her and, even in his exhausted, terrified state he saw a beautiful woman, dressed in light cotton pyjamas.

He handed her the glass and toothbrush and she helped him under the blankets. Jean moved round to the other side of the bed and climbed in beside him, putting her arms around him and kissing him lightly on the cheek. Lucien turned to her and moved into her embrace.

Resting her head on his chest Jean fell asleep and Lucien watched her in the moonlight. Jean had not closed the curtains and had left the door ajar in an effort to make him feel less trapped.


	6. Chapter 6 Revelation

Chapter 6 Revelation

Lucien found it impossible to sleep, he was afraid that if he closed his eyes he would wake to the dark cellar again.

Jean stirred and turned over, leaving him free to get out of bed. Putting on his dressing gown he went outside and sat under the tree in the garden. Sitting there alone he allowed the tears to flow unhindered down his cheeks.

Jean, a naturally light sleeper, became aware she was alone. Opening her eyes, she found it was so. She could see his dressing gown was no longer hanging behind the door, so she got up expecting to find him in the lounge or at the very least the kitchen. But no. This was extremely worrying, she knew Lucien was claustrophobic but couldn't imagine where on earth he could be! Then she noticed the back door was open.

Heading through the sunroom, she saw a figure hunched under the tree - it must have been worse than she thought. In spite of only being in her pyjamas she went out to him. The grass was cool and damp under her bare feet. She didn't call out to him, just went and sat beside him and drew him close; as he had done to her during the storms.

'Oh, Jean, I didn't mean to disturb you,' he sobbed.

'It's alright,' her voice was low and soft.

Then...it all came flooding out:

'When I was a POW I stole a can of fruit. We were starving, suffering from malnutrition,' his tone was urgent, 'I was caught, put into a tin box as punishment. No light, no one allowed to speak to me. I was given a small amount of water and rice, just enough to keep me alive. I don't know how long for, days, it felt like forever! Today if it wasn't for the girls I ... I...I can't stand small spaces. The dark is the worst.' His voice tailed off. She knew that those two little scraps had saved his sanity, his life.

She held him and kissed him until the tears subsided.

'Let's go back to bed. I'll leave the light on, I won't leave you ,you won't be alone.'


	7. Chapter 7

Epilogue

Two weeks have passed since Lucien was rescued from the cellar. True to her word Jean has not left him alone at night. He is still struggling during the night so he and Jean are sleeping with the curtains and the door open.

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Unfortunately for them both Lucien continued to wander out into the garden during the night; not every night but often enough for the lack of sleep to upset Jean. It made her more tired during the day and prone to being a tad short-tempered. It didn't help that Lucien seemed to be able to survive on less sleep than she. There were times when Charlie and Lucien found themselves tiptoeing round the house.

During these two weeks the best news came through - Lucien's divorce was finalised. He didn't tell her the day he found out, she was a bit 'grumpy' that day, so he thought he'd save it for a time when they were on their own.

A couple of good nights followed the news and they were sitting together on the couch listening to some music. Charlie had gone to bed and Jean had given up on her knitting and although she was nestled close to Lucien and didn't really want to move, she was thinking about turning in for the night.

Lucien slipped his hand into the pocket of his waistcoat and pulled out the box containing his mother's ring. He shifted his position so that Jean had to sit up. She smiled sleepily at him as he took her left hand in his.

'Jean, you know I had a phone call the other day?' He was looking very serious, but had that cheeky twinkle in his eye.

'Lucien...' she sounded weary, was it a bit unfair to do this now?He'd started so he couldn't go back.

'Jean, please. I know it's been really hard lately, my nightly wanderings...I'm sorry. You don't have to come out to me...'

Jean opened her mouth to say she didn't mind but he placed a finger on her lips.

'Hear me out. The call was from my lawyer, I am now free to marry you, so... will you do me the honour of consenting to be my wife?'

He held his breath.

'Oh Lucien, my dearest Lucien, of course I will!' She smiled through tears of joy. 'Don't worry about the wanderings, I just need to know you are safe.'

He pulled her close to him and kissed her softly on the lips.

The next day , after yet another good night, Jean was dusting the studio. The low sun streamed through the French windows and she suddenly had an idea. it was a good sized room, high ceilinged, light and airy with a small side room; currently used to store Genevieve Blake's painting equipment.

In his study, Lucien was just finishing some patient notes when Jean popped her head round the door. She looked almost excited.

'Yes, Jean...' he asked.

Have you got a minute, Lucien?'

He nodded his assent and followed her into the studio.

'You're up to something,' he teased.

'I've had an idea.' she smiled, hoping he would see the sense in it.

Lucien folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. 'I'm listening.'

'It just came to me; your room won't be big enough for when we're married.'

'We manage alright now.'

She rolled her eyes, typical man!

'I still have my room with my wardrobe and my chest of drawers. Do you want me to have to run upstairs to change every time?'

Lucien had to admit she had a point, his lovely, practical Jean.

'Well, this room is big, light and airy. The French windows let in lots of light, and, if we put a chair by them you could sit by the open window if you need to.' She looked up at him, almost expecting him to shoot her down in flames for disturbing his mother's memory. He looked up at the ceiling, the pieces of gold leaf flickered like stars and thought it would be quite nice if not rather romantic to lie next to Jean under the 'stars'.

'Mmm...I like it, it's a good idea. You know, the side room would make a small bathroom then neither of us would have to go upstairs. That bathroom could be used by Charlie and any other lodgers we might have. You never know, Mattie might come back. Mother's things would be safe in the garage or the loft. After all they don't get used.'

Jean realised he was trying to let go of the past, but she was worried that it might be too fast for him, however she would cross that bridge when she got to it.

'Wouldn't that be very extravagant?' she queried, but deep down she knew it was a very good idea.

'We'll need to get someone in to tell us how long it would take and how much it would cost, but I think it would be worth it in the end. Can I leave you to find a builder?'

She looked at him.

'You know people in Ballarat better than I do, but we'll make the final decision together?' That seemed to satisfy her. He didn't want to leave the whole thing to her it wouldn't be fair.

So that, as they say, was decided upon.

Jean and Lucien were married in a quiet civil ceremony three weeks later, and after a month long trip round Europe they returned to their home. While they were away the refurbishments had been finished and Charlie had overseen the bulk of the furniture movements, using written instructions from Jean, adding his touch of champagne and flowers to welcome them back.

Yes, Lucien did carry Jean over the threshold! Well he had to, didn't he!


End file.
